Night Hunting in Bhutan: A Conversation with Mani

Night Hunting in Bhutan

6 minutes read

Hidden beneath Bhutan’s serene image is Bomena, a fading rural courtship tradition where young men once climbed through windows under the cover of darkness in search of romance. Today, the practice exists somewhere between folklore, cultural debate, and a rapidly changing modern Bhutan.

by Isabelle de Braux

After writing about Bhutan’s fading tradition of Bomena, often translated as “night hunting”, I found myself wanting to understand the custom beyond its folklore and controversy. I spoke with Mani, one of Amala’s Bhutanese guides who grew up between village and city life, about the stories, realities, and contradictions surrounding a tradition that still lingers in some rural parts of the country today.

Like Romeo & Juliet, Except Night Hunting. The first time I heard about Bhutan’s tradition of “night hunting” was at a dinner party.

I had just started working at Amala Destinations, whose journeys are deeply rooted in Bhutan, when someone casually asked me, “Oh, you do trips to Bhutan? Isn’t that the place where men climb into women’s homes at night?”

I remember feeling slightly embarrassed that I had no idea what she was talking about.

The tradition, known as Bomena, was once practiced across many rural parts of Bhutan, though today it survives mostly in remote villages. Curious to understand more, I spoke with Mani, one of Amala’s guides and a friend from Bhutan, about what the custom actually looked like beyond the rumours and headlines.

“We also call it prowling for girls.”

“That’s another way to describe it,” Mani laughs. “Boys would go alone or sometimes in groups to visit girls they liked at night. Sometimes the girl already knew they were coming, sometimes not.”

Traditionally, these nighttime visits often happened during harvest season, when families temporarily split up to guard crops from wild animals in different locations. With parents away or sleeping separately, there were simply more opportunities for young people to meet.

In small villages, Mani explains, everyone usually knew each other. Parents were sometimes strict, other times surprisingly accepting, especially if they approved of the young man visiting their daughter.

“If the parents caught them, sometimes they’d chase the boys away,” he says. “But sometimes they already knew who it was.”

Traditional Bhutanese homes unintentionally supported the practice. Wooden houses with sliding shutters and simple latches made quiet entry easier than modern homes with locks and metal gates. “Some boys climbed through windows, some through the roof,” Mani says. “But the houses were completely dark inside, and entire families often slept in one large room.”

Stories still circulate of boys accidentally climbing into the wrong bed, waking grandparents, or being chased out after being mistaken for burglars.

“Sometimes families would throw hot water because they thought someone was breaking in,” he says. “So it helped if the girl gave directions first.” Mani never participated in night hunting himself. Having grown up mostly in towns and cities, he says the custom always felt distant from his own upbringing

“There’s much more influence from western culture now,” he explains. “People talk on phones, message each other, date normally. Before, people were shy. Sometimes the first real interaction happened during night hunting.”

Today, the tradition is fading quickly. Modern education, urbanisation, stricter laws, changing attitudes towards consent, and the practical realities of modern family life have all contributed to its decline.

At the same time, Mani acknowledges the darker side of the tradition.

“Sometimes the girl may think it means love forever, while the boy only wants one night,” he says. “That misunderstanding caused a lot of pain.”

Bhutan’s younger generation increasingly views relationships differently now. What once existed as a deeply embedded rural custom has become something more complicated: part folklore, part controversy, and part reflection of how rapidly Bhutanese society is changing.

After our conversation, what stayed with me most wasn’t the shock value of the tradition itself, but how quickly cultural practices can shift within a single generation. For outsiders, Bomena is often reduced to a sensational headline, but speaking with Mani reminded me that behind every tradition are real people, changing values, and a society constantly negotiating between past and present.